bury me in this dress

Doc Martens released this 2GB USB for their 50th anniversary. At $25 a pop, I find it expensive even if it’s still limited edition. It should also come in different colors.

via Engadget

This perfectly sums up my week.

I’ve been a really useless member of society for more than a week now. My depression is really severe and I haven’t felt this awful for years. I’ve been seeing a new psychiatrist. Her rates are really expensive and its putting a toll on my finances. But what can I do? I need to get better. I am fighting but the enemy has regained its strength.

I haven’t been going to work. I’m lucky because my mother understands my situation. Still, I feel very guilty for being a burden to her and our family business. Before I spew even more ugly perceptions I have about myself and turn this into an emo blog post, change topic.

My favorite form of escapism/”hold on sanity ” are Japanese dramas (doramas). I just finished watching Yankee-kun to Megane-chan and I liked it. Just a couple of minutes ago I watched “5 Minutes Before That” which is a series of short Japanese dramas. Two of them touched me that’s why I’m posting this blog. If you have a few minutes to spare, please watch them.

It Happened One Night

Last Fight

Thank god for Viikii.net. I’d probably just be sulking all day if I didn’t have my doramas to help me feel better.

I underwent a full battery of psychological tests a few weeks ago and I finally saw the results today.

The tests I took and some results

1. Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale, Revised edition (WAIS-R)
   Verbal Score IQ – 100 average
   Performance Score IQ – 119 high average
   Full Score IQ – 108 average
2. Bender Visual Motor Gestalt Test
3. Draw a Person Test
4. Full Luscher Color Test
5. Thematic Apperception Test
6. Rorschach Psychodiagnostic Test
7. Myers Briggs Type Indicator (ENTP)
8. Millon Clinical Multi-axial Inventory III (MCMI-3)
   Clinical Personality Pattern/s: Depressive, Antisocial, Dependent
   Severe Personality Pathology: Borderline
   Clinical Syndrome/s: Anxiety, Dysthymia
   Severe Syndrome/s: Major Depression

I won’t include the full report here. What am I? Crazy? No cos the test said I’m not. However, I’m not very happy with the findings because most of the tests indicated I’m average. I want to be above average! But what can I do? That’s the brain I was born with. The full report is mostly gobbledygook to me though. Bleh.

Basically my cognitive abilities are enough to help me deal with life’s demands. Except that I have a tendency to act-out and to be impulsive. I display cognitive ambivalence under perceived pressure…whatever that means. I also have an active imagination and tend to fantasize when overwhelmed by pressure. I don’t agree with this. Escapism maybe but my imagination/fantasy skills are very much lacking. The test also confirmed that I have difficulty in sustaining concentration.

The part that struck me most about the result is this:

A pollyana orientation is gleaned … KJA expects things to blend perfectly and is likely to pour oil on troubled waters.

So I’m a closet optimist. Shoot me. But I totally do not understand that pouring oil on troubled waters bit. Somebody enlighten me, please.

The test says I am not aggressive. Well, yes and no methinks.

This battery of tests costs us 8,500 pesos. Ack. I’m lucky my family can afford the fee but what about those who need to be assessed but can’t cough up that amount? The state of psychology and psychiatry in the Philippines need A LOT to improve on. They should make consultations, tests, treatments, medicines, and such affordable.

And everyone who wants to run in politics should be required to take this full battery of psych exams! There. I’ve said my piece.

What? They cater to plus-size women like me? This is great news!

Plus-Sized Chanel, YSL, McQueen Coming Soon to Saks

Saks Fifth Avenue is about to become the only major retailer in the city to carry plus-sized womenswear by names like Chanel and Dolce & Gabbana. Coming very soon to the department store’s super high-end third floor, fall and winter plus-sized pieces will be mixed right in with existing stock—most of which would formerly have only been available in sizes ranging to a 10. Stock will reach size 14 across the board, and in some cases—depending on the brand—will go up to a size 20.

And we’re not just talking about smart suits and evening gowns for the ladies-who-lunch set (though they’ll have plenty to peruse, with extended sizes from Akris, Armani, Carolina Herrera, Escada, Donna Karan, St. John, Oscar de la Renta, Max Mara, Valentino and Michael Kors). Saks will also be stocking plus-sized pieces by the aforementioned Chanel and Dolce & Gabbana, as well as from Yves Saint Laurent, Alexander McQueen, Fendi and Roberto Cavalli.

Fair warning, ladies: Don’t wait for markdowns if you have your heart set on something. As with many of the high-priced pieces in high-priced venues, we’re told only one of each size will be stocked for most pieces. And, if this New York roll-out is deemed successful, other Saks stores will be following suit.
· Saks Fifth Avenue [Official Site]

Finally! The designers are targeting us plus-sized women. My only problem now will be fundage.

Would you have a foot facelift?

© loutocky - Fotolia.com

Women in the United States are apparently going all out to make sure their feet can fit in the latest designer footwear.

Such is the desire for perfect feet, the American Orthopaedic Foot and Ankle Society (AOFAS) has warned women to avoid so called “foot facelifts.”

Clinics such as the Beverly Hills Aesthetic Foot Surgery are among those which offer a variety of surgical procedures including the Cinderella Prodedure, a foot shaving technique which aims to prevent bunions by narrowing the sides of the foot.

Also on offer is the “Foot-Tuck Fat Pad Augmentation,” where the patient’s own body fat is injected into the balls of the feet designed to make wearing high heels more comfortable.

For toes which hang over the edge or protrude at the side of a sandal, the clinic has the answer. Second toes can be shortened so they are no longer than the big toe, and the little toe can be made skinnier to make feet easier to fit into high heels.

Toes can even be lengthened again after cosmetic surgery which may have made a toe too short.

And anyone who suffers from sweaty feet can have Botox injections which can also help prevent fungal infections.

Dr Ali Sadrieh, who founded the clinic, said that advising women to alter their footwear only falls on deaf ears.

He told the Wall Street Journal: “It’s unrealistic to tell women not to wear high heels. I came up with procedures that allow the women to function, pain-free, in the real world.”

Nigel Mercer, President of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, said the demand for foot facelifts in the UK was “minimal.” But he also warned that anyone considering this type of surgery should be fully informed of the risks. The potential complications of cosmetic foot surgery “could leave a patient unable to walk normally for the rest of their life,” he said.

YAHOO

This is exactly what I’ve been praying for. I have huge, wide ugly feet which I’ve inherited from my mom. Goddamn genes! Anyway, the bone on the sides of my feet are protruding. It’s so hard to find shoes that fit or shoes which look good on me. I’ve been telling mom that I wish there’s a surgery to fix my feet and I found out today that there is when I was browsing a thread on Makeup Talk. Most are against this procedure but not me. If I can afford to have the side of feet shaved, I will!

you wouldn't see the bones I was talking about but still ugly feet!

couldn't see it here either. bah

don't ask me why i'm barefoot during xmas eve

Oh I don’t have any shots of the damn feet. I avoid taking photos of them as much as possible. Believe me they’re wide and unsightly.

I received this afternoon the Rootote I won! I was informed the other day that the “Mew” is out of stock so Rootote sent me my second choice which is the “French Bulldog.” I love my new Roo-shopper! Super kawaii!!! Thanks so much to Joni of Rootote Philippines and Christine of Manila Fashion Observer for holding the contest.

Woof. My ROOshopper Folded

I'm naming this bulldog 'Petunia'

I finally gave Yasu his much-need bath. He was filthy and needs to be sanded and MSC-ed. Expenses again X_X

"I smell good"

"Now how do I put this back?"

Pinkfish Pie has recently reached 330 followers and now she’s having a giveaway as celebration.

Prizes

• Anna Sui Love EDT 30ml
• M.A.C. Pigment in Bell Bottom Blue
• O.P.I. Mini Nail Lacquer 3.75 ml

Plus a bunch of samples

• SkinFood Salmon Brightening Eye Serum
• SkinFood Black Raspberry Eye Cream
• SkinFood Rice Mask Wash Off
• Idylle EDT by Guerlain fragrance
• Guerlain issima Midnight Secret Late Night Recovery Treatment (not pictured)

If you want to join too, head over to her contest post.

——

We all need change! From style to decor change is good and needed from time to time. Finding the right kind of change is important. With an online resource that specializes in indoor fountains you can find the change you need. Beautiful garden fountains and classical looking wall fountains galore! You don’t need to spend a fortune to be rich in style.

Check out Elle’s Coach – Polly, YSL, Chanel giveaway. I’m already salivating just looking at the photo.

Prizes

COACH
♥ Pink POPPY leather wristlet
♥ Set of COACH POPPY pencils

Yves Saint Laurent
♥ Rouge Volupte lipstick in #1 nude beige
♥ Mascara Singulier in black

CHANEL
♥ Tan de Soleil

Vera Wang
♥ Princess body wash
♥ Princess body lotion

Smashbox
♥ Wicked lovely blush in Charm

Nail Polishes
♥ OPI in Need Sunglasses
♥ Sephora by OPI in Note to Self
♥ Sally Hansen color quick nail pen in Hot Pink
♥ Zoya in Vegas Freeze

LUSH
♥ Snow Fairy shower gel

Her giveaway will run until August 25, 2010. If you also want to join, head over to http://elleheartsblogs.blogspot.com/2010/07/coach-poppy-ysl-chanel-giveaway.html

I fail at life but not in contests. I recently found out that I won in 2 contests I joined.

Out of the 80 entries in Manila Fashion Observer and Rootote‘s contest, my name was the one picked from the bowl. I send my virtual kiss to Berry, Christine Dychiao’s daughter.

The other prize I won is a tube of Dr. Jart Black Label BB Cream from Project Vanity.

So many blessings yet I feel like shit. Alas, I will finally take a psych exam tomorrow. Hopefully my luck with life will be as good as my luck with contests.