bury me in this dress

I’m having a really bad day. I don’t know how and why but I woke up with a really bad feeling. Then I thought about how I badly needed a haircut and that I couldn’t afford one. That made me feel angrier. I was thinking of not posting here today but I just have to release the feeling somehow. I am angry with myself, with the situations, with every little thing. I have this huge urge of cutting myself. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t if I can stop myself.

I’m quite sure my medication isn’t working. What do you think?

Not much of a day but I liked it still. I like it when it rains all day and I’m inside the house. It’s comforting. Cool too. I didn’t do much except watch tv and go online. While online, I added my cats to Catster. It’s a nice display site for kitties. There’s also Dogster where I plan to put Peanut’s picture soon.

I just watched “Blue Crush” on HBO and it made me want to take up surfing. I’ve tried boogey boarding in Honolulu but it was crazy hard. I had to be towed by the jet skis to reach the shore because of the killer undertow. But I talked to some surfer guys and they said it’s easier for girls to learn surfing. I declined during that time because I was chicken shit. The waves in Blue Crush are insane but I’m planning on surfing them. I think that was shot in Oahu. The waves I want are little safe ones. Just enough to push me to stand on the board. My family has plans to go to Hawaii this December. I don’t know if it would push through but I think I want to try surfing. I just wonder if the waves there are cold during that time.