bury me in this dress

I’m feeling restless right now. I was in hyperdrive earlier at my cousin’s birthday party. She’ll be leaving for US next year so she threw a grand party on this birthday. Gad! The place was packed with pubescent boys and girls who were very loud. Okay. I’m getting old but when I was 15, I didn’t have any social life. None at all. For me, gimmicks meant going to the mall with friends and this fucking happened so rarely like thrice in a school year. Fine, I was a total loser back then but I never heard anybody in my all-girl Catholic school throwing a party with DJ’s, catered food, professional lighting design, band set-up, fog machine, and all the works. And there’s booze involved too. Some of my cousin’s male friends have bands. There were two bands who performed actually. It was really awful. Even the sound engineer (YES! There was a sound engineer) couldn’t do anything to make the bands sound better. Cousin Paul was there and he’s like me (not into mainstream music and live an alternative lifestyle) so we sniggered the whole time while the teens shrieked to their hearts’ content. Maybe this kind of party is typical for America or Europe but not here in my third world country. By 10 PM, the place was spilling with drunken half-naked teenyboppers who could hardly walk after drinking a bottle of beer. And you know what it’s like when people are drunk, right? They get even louder. Add this to the party music being spinned. I don’t know what was going on inside my head of my uncle and aunt head when they decided to serve booze to the underage. I was a bit annoyed when some of the kids went outside and just hung out IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. Mike, a friend of my cousin Fortune, said some of the teenage boys were smoking pot OUTSIDE. I am not against pot but egads, to do that in the middle of the street, in a well-to-do neighborhood, and the village guards just a few meters away. Totally insane! *shakes head* I should have taken pictures to post here but I during that time, it’s just a waste of effort and web space.

Still, the food was great and I had fun with some of the people my age (mostly Fortune’s friends since the party was in his house…but the celebrant is not his sister btw). I made friends with Jake, the sound engineer guy who has his own studio (networking!), and we talked mostly about geeky stuff. He’s a pro though so I was at a loss most of the time. Mike was fun and charming as always. He’s really funny. He brought along his very pretty and curvy girlfriend (I think I want to look like her). Marcel was also there with a new girlfriend so he had to behave well. We talked about a lot of things and also drank some booze.

Since we’re in the subject of booze, beer used to be like water for me. Well in some sense, because I didn’t drink beer all the time at home. There was a point in my past when I was out all the time and there always was booze involved. Mostly beer. My stomach is not built for beer. I get gassy and I get the runs. I also couldn’t sleep if I drank more than 2 bottles. I really loved (still love) the buzz I get but the discomfort isn’t worth it. I’m tempted to tell about my romance with tequila but I’ll save that for some other post. Anyway, the elderlies, meaning me and my 20 something friends and cousin, drank some booze. I joined them a bit late because I was watching a New Order concert DVD in Fortune’s home theater (it was great!) and by the time I reached them, a bottle of Bailey’s had been consumed. There was a bottle of mocha vodka or whatever it’s called so I nursed that. It was yummy yummy good cos it tasted like iced coffee. The converstation was going well so I got tempted into drinking San Miguel Light. I still like the taste of beer but after an hour of chatting, I felt my stomach gurgling. So shit, I only had 1 bottle and my stomach acted up just when I was getting a bit buzzed. I had no choice but to stop drinking. And I also still have to drive.

Goddammit! This post is supposed to be about my cousin’s party and not me and beer. Damn!

Back to the topic. By 1AM most of the kids have left but there were a handful left. I wanted to go home already so I picked up my handbag and Mike was fucking startled to see me using one. WTF? I always use a handbag. My mom was prompted to say that she has two daughters, not 1 daughter and a son (me). LOL. I have a suspicion that Marcel and Mike think that I’m a lesbian which is not true. I like boys, especially androgynous boys and teenage boys because I’m a perv.

Oh dammit! I’m talking about myself again. Might as well give in.

To my friends in real life who read this, do you think I’m feminine? I don’t think I am eventhough I love skirts, make-up, dresses, and frilly things but I can be so unladylike in terms of behavior. When I’m with a group of males, I feel like I’m one of the boys most of the time. I laugh out loud, burp, slump, sit with my legs spread out, and even talk boy stuff. This is fun for me but it has its drawbacks…like when I am interested in a guy, he just thinks of me as one of the boys. *bangs head on the computer table* I don’t know how to flirt. Compared to the girlfriends present in our little group during the party, I am so different from them. They were mostly quiet, snuggling with their BF’s, etc. I don’t think I can behave like that. I don’t think I want to behave like that as well. I am not looking for romance at the moment but what should I do when I want to have a boyfriend. Nobody is courting me at the moment but no surprise there. But…I mean…I don’t want to be a spinster. Well sometimes I don’t want to be a spinster. Real life friends, give advice please! I don’t want to be one of the boys forever.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 21st, 2005 at 4:31 am and is filed under Extraordinary, Humor Me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.