bury me in this dress

knoizki had this brilliant idea. He wanted bloggers to look at their past entries, their 23rd post to be exact. and write the 5th sentence from that post. I talked about a Wes Anderson film dress up game for my 23rd entry and it was really short. So my 5th sentence is just “Boo!”. lol

oh damn damn damn damn damn!!!! i want to crawl under a rock. fucking friendster. now i couldn’t sleep and i needed to sedate myself with food plus tranq. i was quite a nervous eater earlier. i just kept on ramming food down my throat. ugh. but at least i feel less anxious now. but ugh still. fuck friendster.

i tried to fight my hunger but well it got the best of me. i was hungry. i was trying to sleep. i was nervous as well. so i got up, got breakfast (dinner?) then i’m okay. sorta. but while trying to argue with myself, sleeping vs. eating, i got to thinking about how i miss mom so much. she’s in cebu for a conference. she left last wednesday but will return this afternoon. but yeah, i was thinking that i couldn’t tell her how much i miss her. i just tell her that the dog misses her. and the thing is, i want to tell her that i missed her a lot when she gets back later but it’s very awkward. mom isn’t vocal about her feelings unless she gets really fed up. and i grew up in that environment where we don’t really voice out how we feel. that’s also how my mom was brought up. and i really don’t feel comfortable telling her how much i missed her even if i was as depressed as our dog because she’s away. *sigh* it’s just kinda sad and i guess that’s partly why i have all these psychological problems. blah blah. but that’s the environment i grew up in and i don’t think there would be any changes. i would just have to deal with that. besides, i would feel weird when mom becomes affectionate or something.

Oh man! I just discovered that you can track people who view your profile on friendster. So now the people I’ve been stalking for the past few weeks know that I was looking at their profile. So beware if you are like me and like to look at strangers’ profiles. You have to turn on the anonymous option first before you stalk people. Bugger.