bury me in this dress

Source: Insert Cool Name Here blog

Isn’t this cool?

Ugh. The political state here is atrocious! I am not in favor of Proclamation 1017 but those politicians who are in the opposition are also unappealing. Most of them have ulterior motives and it’s so obvious. Maybe the question is which is the lesser evil? I have yet to see this but I have a feeling that even if I do find out, I won’t do anything about it. I won’t take to the streets if there is a call for another People Power. That may have worked before but I don’t think it will anymore. Let’s say PGMA steps down or is overthrown. Who will take over her seat? Noli de Castro? Oh please! He’s a lackey of PGMA. Ex-President Joseph Estrada? I would rather die. A military junta? That is even scarier. Simply put, nobody ideal is available to replace her that’s why a lot of civilians don’t care much about the current turmoil.

If you want to read more on people’s opinions on this, here are well-written articles you should check out:
Dictator by Conrado de Quiros
A Lapdog Republic by Manuel L. Quezon III
Show Us Edsa by Carmen Diokno (her article was posted by MLQ3 in his blog)

I think things are beginning to calm down now although some people were “invited for questioning”. Most likely this is just a calm before the storm. I was mistaken when I said that officials confiscated today’s dailies. It turns out that the Daily Tribune was taken over by the government temporarily. Until when? Nobody knows but the government. I never got to read that publisher’s dailies but I just learned that they were printing a lot of articles aimed at criticizing the government. So there you go, no more freedom of the press and Philippine National Police Chief Arturo Lomibao warned that there would be more arrests and media takeovers.

Anakpawis Representative Crispin Beltran and retired Generals Ramon Montano and Rex Piad were the ones invited for questioning. Details are still hazy but it was being said that Beltran was questioned because of a warrant of arrest issued for him way back in 1985. Yes! 1985. During the rule of Marcos and he was charged with inciting rebellion. The rebellion which toppled Marcos and paved the way for the current government. This is bullshit.

I was with my uncle this afternoon and we talked about how it was like during Marcos’ regime. He was an activist then and was fighting in the streets during the First Quarter Storm. He and his mates made molotov cocktails and pillbox and blew up a lot of structures and even vehicles. He was there fighting while police tried to shoot them. He said that he knew a lot of people who suddenly “disappeared” back then. It was a really scary time. What surprised me is that he didn’t join People Power so I asked him why and he said that in a way, he was a part of it because his fellow activists and him helped pave the way for it to happen. He almost got arrested but it was my other uncle who went to jail (there were a number of activists in my family). Anyway, I’ve always wondered what I would have done if I were a college student during the Martial Law. I have a feeling that I would have been an activist too but most probably through writing or the arts, not through street protests. Sometimes I even wish I was there, with so much passion and fight in my heart. Not like now when I’m almost numb to how things are.

Wow. Things are crazy here right now. The President declared a state of emergency earlier and there was an alleged coup d’etat plot early morning yesterday. February 25 is the 20th anniversary of Edsa 1 (better known as People Power) which paved the way for Ferdinand Marcos’ dictatorship to end. On this day 20 years ago, I was only 8 years old and didn’t know much about what was going on around me. According to older people, it was also the day when freedom and democracy was regained. People should be jubilant now, thinking about that eventful day and how the country could be better. The government threw it all down the drain by not allowing rallies or any form of commemoration to be held. And just a few minutes ago, I heard on the news that some authorities barged into a newspaper publication and confiscated today’s dailies. What is this? Martial Law all over again? Things are getting more alarming as hours pass but if things do get worse, I know that the people won’t allow this to continue. I think the President made really bad decisions today and that might spell the end for her.

I was finally able to watch Brokeback Mountain. I liked it a lot and it even made me cry a bit in the end (well, it is a depressing film) but a lot of times, I didn’t understand the dialogues of the actors due to their mumbling. Perhaps I’m just not used to western accents but Heath Ledger hardly opened his mouth when he talked! I need to see this again but with subtitles. Anyway, I had to watch this at Galleria which annoyed me a lot. I was expecting that the film would run for at least two weeks so tonight my only choices were ugly movie theaters. Bah.

I watched “Gomen” at the Eiga Sai fest a few hours ago. I was choosing between that and Brokeback Mountain but I figured I’d go with the Japanese one since it’s the last day already. Stupid mistake. The movie is so-so and it just made me dizzy. If anybody wants to know what that film is about, just tell me so. But right now I won’t waste my time trying to write a synopsis for it. Blech. I really should have watched Brokeback. Grrr. Good thing it’s still showing.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to my Johari Window. A lot of the results surprised me.

All Percentages

able (6%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (33%) brave (6%) calm (6%) caring (6%) cheerful (13%) clever (20%) complex (26%) confident (13%) dependable (6%) dignified (6%) energetic (6%) extroverted (6%) friendly (6%) giving (13%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (13%) independent (0%) ingenious (13%) intelligent (33%) introverted (13%) kind (6%) knowledgeable (20%) logical (6%) loving (13%) mature (6%) modest (20%) nervous (6%) observant (6%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (6%) proud (13%) quiet (0%) reflective (26%) relaxed (6%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (26%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (13%) sensible (13%) sentimental (26%) shy (6%) silly (13%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (6%) wise (6%) witty (20%)

Well I really am complex. Some of the results were contradictory but I guess it’s because I have a lot of facets. Anyway, the results which surprised me are: loving, mature, observant, sentimental, and self-conscious. So okay, I do get self-conscious but that doesn’t happen much. Five years ago I would say this is true but now? I don’t think so! Loving. I don’t think I am loving at all so that blew me away. Sentimental. I don’t think I am. I wonder what made some of my friends say that. Mature. I disagree with this. I’m so childish, even mom said so. This Johari window is a great tool. I’m finding out more about myself and hopefully this will help me become a better person.

For my regular blog readers, I have a small favor to ask. I made a Johari window and if you have some time, please go to kevan.org/johari?name=kareninsilver and choose 5 words you think describe me the best. Thanks!

I just found out a few minutes ago that my friend died. He was 59 years old and died from stroke last Thursday. He’s my aunt’s friend and we spent a lot of time togethere when I was in the US. This really is a shocker. Rudy was so kind, gentle, generous, and very thoughtful. He was so easy to get along with and he had so many friends. According to what my aunt said, it seems like he knew that he was going to die. He became more distant and withdrawn when he returned from his short trip to the Philippines. He also failed to show up some times for his medical appointments. So there’s a possibility that he knew. But just the same, this is a sad news for everyone who knew him. I’m sad but that’s the cycle of life. I also believe in afterlife and reincarnation. I’m sure he’s in a better place.