Should I or shouldn’t I?
Feeling better right now. Just right now. My feelings change so fast that I can’t definitely pinpoint how I am if somebody asks me. This morning was so bad. I was literally shaking and had to take Xanor for anxiety. That didn’t help so now there are 3 lines on skin. That didn’t help as well. *sigh* I know I know I know I should see my therapist but I don’t want to. I hate that he charges fucking too much and he’s sometimes innatentive. I don’t pay for it. Mom does and this fact just makes me feel guiltier. Why the fuck am I not normal and know how to deal with this? How come there are times such as this that I easily crumble and feel so fucking helpless that all I can do is lie in bed. I can’t even do anything creative. Isn’t that the guage to know if a person is really depressed? Depressive people are creative but when feelings are too strong and they feel paralyzed, that’s true depression. Ugh. I bet my entries these days don’t even make sense anymore. That’s how scattered my mind is lately.
