bury me in this dress

I’m feeling so much better. Much much much better. I did a lot of research last night (like the post before this one), meditated, made contact with my Higher Self, and even picked up my tarot card again. I did a quick reading about the issues I’m currently facing and the tarot really helped me. Of course, I’m not sure if my readings were correct but I can only rely on my intuition. I still slept the whole day but at least when I woke up around 6PM, I was at peace with myself. I’m not saying that everything is fine and my quest for spirituality ends here. In fact, this is just a start. I still have emotional baggages I need to deal with. I guess there is also a problem with my weight because my Higher Self told me she wants me to take care of myself and lose a lot of weight. So there’s that and I still haven’t set up an appointment with my therapist. I have to ask mother about this and she will ask me why I want to see my therapist again. Maybe I’ll just tell her that I’m depressed that’s why I need to see the therapist. The real reason I want to have sessions is to release my emotional baggage.

My intuition is sharper now. Around 7:30 PM, I went online and decided to open Skype. I saw Louie there and called her up. Turns out that she texted me earlier and was asking if we could talk on Skype. My cellphone was in my mother’s room so I didn’t know that I received a text message. What we talked about is personal so I couldn’t discuss it in detail here. The thing is, I was able to give her good advice because of my new discoveries. I told her to meditate and talk to all her body parts whenever she’s becoming anxious. I taught her a basic meditation technique and I think it worked.

I’ll pick up my tarot again tonight. I only have one deck but it’s a good one. I think this is 7 years old already. I was eyeing the Voyager Tarot on the net when I was still in college. So when my aunt went to US for a short trip, I asked her to buy one for me which I’ll pay back when she returns. She had a hard time looking for it but she was able to get one eventually. When she got back here, she gave the tarot to me as a gift which is really nice of her. I still have a lot to learn about tarot reading but I’m starting there already. At least I already have a deck.

BTW, the Voyager Tarot website offers free card a day. I tried it just now and got the this. I think the card is very appropriate.

Since I’m trying to find my spirituality again, I’ve been doing some research. One I found is this great article on how to get rid of emotional baggage which is what I really need in the first place. So this is my first step. It will be a lengthy process and reading this made me decide to work things out with my therapist once again because I can’t do this on my own. I’m sharing this article in case somebody with emotional baggage reads this and they want some help about it.

Most emotional baggage begins with the conditional love our parents give us. We carry it through all of our relationships and take it to the grave unless we deal with it and resolve it.

In resolving emotional baggage, there are two major factors to contend with: 1) pain; 2) the belief you have no control over the baggage, that it controls you. If you’re willing to deal with pain and take control of your life it’s just a matter of time before you’ve completely resolved the problem and can enjoy the benefits of unconditional love in a relationship. No one resolves it by accident. It’s a painful journey each person must take in their own time at their own pace. It separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. People who have made this journey successfully can easily spot other people who have made it and they are naturally attracted to each other. They rarely get involved with someone for a serious relationship who hasn’t made the journey because they don’t want to ‘baby sit’ for someone who, for whatever reason, won’t deal with their past.

So how do you rid yourself of emotional baggage? I’ve yet to find a method of dealing with emotional baggage that doesn’t entail pain. But for those of us who have walked down that road before (including me), we realize it’s the kind of pain you go through when you have a tooth pulled - yes, it hurts, but it solving a problem, not creating one. And knowing that helps to deal with the pain because you know you’re getting better. Because of lack of space I can’t give you a complete explanation but I can give you the blue print and a road map for taking the next steps.

Emotional baggage is connected to these five areas: 1) your level of self respect; 2) your self image; 3) your belief system; 4) your ability to deal with pain; and 5) whether you’re in ‘victim mode’ or not.

Not an easy task but definitely possible for someone who is truly fed up with letting their baggage rule their life. Here’s what I suggest. First, identify the problem. Write it down on a piece of paper so you can look at it clearly and logically. What really happened? Why did that hurt you? Has this problem occurred in past relationships? How long has this problem been going on? Second, if you sit and blame the other person for doing this to you, you will feel like a victim, learn nothing and be doomed to repeat it indefinitely. Rather, accept responsibility for what happened. Say, “I allowed you to do this to me and I won’t allow you to do that anymore.” Will these changes happen overnight? No. There are no quick fixes for people who have been emotionally abused. You’ll be tested in every new relationship you enter and probably have to walk away from several relationships you’re in now. But it’s well worth it. People with a healthy self respect refuse to be abused on any level so they simply walk away the moment someone tries to abuse them. They also refuse to abuse other people.

How do you know when the pain is gone? Simple: it doesn’t hurt anymore. Just like when you fall down and scrape your knee: how do you know when it’s healed? It doesn’t hurt anymore and you move on a wiser person. Use this basic blueprint and road map to do research in your local bookstore or library. The time you invest in resolving emotional baggage will make you and the person of your choice happy beyond your wildest dreams.

Good luck and God Bless.

Bryan Redfield
bryan@theredfieldsystem.com
http://www.theredfieldsystem.com