bury me in this dress

I think I have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD). I mentioned this to my therapist the first time I went to him but he thinks I only have depression. Amen Clinic has some online tests to determine AADD and here are my results:

So it looks like I do have ADD. I’ll ask my therapist to give me some tests the next time I see him but I don’t think he has any. My therapist sucks.

I was watching ‘Reality Bites’ on cable last night. I never really liked that film but there was nothing else to watch. Anyway, Janeane Garofalo’s character said something which hit home. It was during the part when Winona Ryder’s character just stayed at home all day and accumulated a $400 bill for always talking with 1-900 psychics. Janeane said something to the effect that Winona doesn’t go out anymore, she wears the same thing everyday that it’s like her uniform already, she spends her time in the dark, and she just wastes her time talking to strangers (the psychic hotline girls). Then she said Winona’s in the bell jar. I was like, “oh my god. I really am depressed.” Well I know that I am but I wasn’t aware that I’m depressed ALL THE TIME. I thought it’s just on and off. Like there are good days and bad days. But I guess there are no good days since I’d rather stay in the house, preferrably in the dark. And I don’t know why I keep on delaying making an appointment with my therapist. Maybe I don’t want to get better or maybe I’m scared to tackle my buried thoughts and feelings. I think it’s more of the latter. Hmmm. I know I should do something about this but I don’t want to be bothered. Shit.