bury me in this dress

I was invited to join a mailing list. I won’t mention what it is. Anyway, I used to hang out a lot with some of the members there but things went ugly and I backed away. I don’t know what possessed me to join the list but I’m there and I made my presence felt. I thought that would be good, like some sort of magic would happen and I would feel accepted in the group again. That’s not the case though. It’s a very active mailing list and some of my posts were ignored. So I’m feeling the outsider again, never going to fit in. It’s so fucking juvenile but I guess I’m desperate for company. I really hate it.I’m glad Taylor Hicks is the new American Idol. I think he’s really good and he can really work the stage. I didn’t get to watch the whole show because I fell asleep in the middle of it but I woke up just in time to hear the final outcome. So yay! The Scientologists didn’t win this time (I read that McPhee practices this).

Almost everything is packed and I’ll be on my way to the airport in 4 hours. Somehow I feel that I’m going to forget something. I also couldn’t find my iTrip so that’s pretty annoying. I don’t remember where I placed the damn thing.

I can’t say that I’m excited about the trip. There’s a small thrill alright but I’m not sure I’m going to have fun during this vacation. It’s just a hunch and my hunch is wrong a lot of times so I hope this is one of those times. But damn, I really don’t know what’s going to happen in this trip. It’s like there’s this huge gap in my life.