At Seventeen
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006Mom and I tried to sing Janis Ian’s At Seventeen during last Saturday’s karaoke party but we couldn’t because we weren’t too familiar with the tune of the song. We recently discovered it while watching Entertainment Tonight when the singer was interviewed. A few days ago, I asked mom why she didn’t know that song since it was popular during her time. She answered that maybe she just didn’t notice it but added that most probably it’s because she couldn’t relate to that song since she was very popular and had many suitors back then. I wanted to give a smart retort but I couldn’t come up with anything so I just let it go. I like that song because I could relate to it so much.
When I was 17, I wasn’t popular with the boys. I wasn’t popular with the girls either. In school, I was pretty much a loner. I had a few friends but we couldn’t really spend much time with each other since it was a busy time, us being seniors after all. I felt so unloved during that time and I yearned for a boyfriend so much. Often I daydreamed that my crushes like me back and I would pretend that they always call me, send me presents and love letters, whisper sweet nothings, etc. I was still 17 when I was a college freshman and although I had more friends, my love life was still pretty much the same. Actually up to now but I’ve definitely moved on and don’t even think of that matter as a problem.
My experiences are so different from mom’s and my sister’s. Sometimes I wonder if they think there’s something wrong with me because I never lived the life they live. I bet they think that sometimes. Heck, there are times when I wonder about it myself. So up to now I can still relate to Janis Ian’s song although I don’t imagine or pretend that I have a boyfriend anymore.
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retiredThe valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn’t all it seems
At seventeen
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said, pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve
The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity
Their small town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen
To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen
