bury me in this dress

Oh wow oh wow oh wow! I just learned that there’s a follow up to the Stargirl book by Jerry Spinelli.

 LOVE, STARGIRL picks up a year after Stargirl ends and reveals the new life of the beloved character who moved away so suddenly at the end of Stargirl. The novel takes the form of “the world’s longest letter,” in diary form, going from date to date through a little more than a year’s time. In her writing, Stargirl mixes memories of her bittersweet time in Mica, Arizona, with involvements with new people in her life.

In Love, Stargirl, we hear the voice of Stargirl herself as she reflects on time, life, Leo, and – of course – love.

It’s not available yet. It will be released in the US on August 14 but it will probably be available in the Philippines next year unless it’s special order.

I had a minor panic attack last night. I don’t know how and why it happened but it was already late. Around 4 am when I finished re-watching Hana Yori Dango 2. I just suddenly began worrying about the future and then I started hyperventilating. I still feel so unsettled at the moment and I already took a tranquilizer.

The future…I realized I couldn’t face it head on. My blinders were removed last night and I saw a dismal future for me. I saw how selfish I was being and how unfair I am to my family and to everyone for that matter. But I couldn’t survive without the blinders. Reality is just too painful for me. I know I can’t keep on escaping but I don’t know what else to do. I’ll go crazy with the burden. So I said a quick prayer this morning, apologizing to the Gods and Goddesses because I need to be selfish again and put the blinders back.

7 Random Facts/Habits

I was tagged by Euri with this meme.

Instructions for this meme:

• Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about himself/herself.
• People who are tagged need to explain the 7 random facts/habits about themselves in their blogs.
• Then in turn, they need to choose 7 people to tag and list their names at the end of their blogs.
• The player needs to visit their sites too and inform them (say, by leaving a comment) that they have been tagged and that they need to read your (the player’s) blog to find out more about it.

Here goes: (more…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIb6ZSqal64[/youtube]

I received this email from a media mailing list I’m subscribed to. I just want to share this to let people become more aware of the decay that’s eating away the Philippines. The email is long but please read it entirely.

Last June 21, 2007 at around 10:30 PM, I rode an orange and white
air-conditioned bus (I think it was a JMK bus.) at EDSA cor. Aurora Blvd.
It was on its way to Muntinlupa via Skyway.

I was asleep during the entire ride until two men announced a hold-up when
we reached Guadalupe. It was between 11:00-11:30 PM. Holding a revolver
each, the two suspects told me and the other six passengers (two men and
four women) to surrender our wallets and cell phones. When I refused to
give them my gray bag, the two men pointed their guns at me and snatched my
bag. They ordered the driver to pass through the Ayala underpass to avoid
the traffic lights.

This is how the suspects looked like:

Suspect A
Mid-40’s to mid-50’s
5′6″ to 5′8″ tall
Heavy build
Has dark complexion
Has short, thick black and gray hair (bunot-style)
Has thick black and gray moustache
Was wearing clear eyeglasses
Was wearing a faded pink and gray (in horizontal stripes) short-sleeved
shirt with collar
Was wearing blue jeans

Suspect B
Mid-30’s to early 40’s
5′4″ to 5′6″ tall
Medium build
Has dark complexion
Has prominent cheekbones with sunken cheeks
Has short, thin black hair (almost crew cut)
Was wearing a yellow T-shirt with black stripes on the shoulders
Was wearing maong shorts

The Weapons
Both men used similar guns. The gun was silver with brown handle and
old-type barrel (similar to toy revolvers).

(According to the conductor, the two men got on the bus at Shaw Blvd.)

When we reached the Magallanes Interchange, the two men jumped off the bus.
Everyone was in a state of shock. The driver seemed to be in autopilot mode
as he guided the bus into the SLE. I told him to take the Bicutan Exit and
look for the nearest police station to report the incident. When we failed
to find one, we returned to the SLE and took the Sucat Exit instead. Along
Sucat Road, we finally saw a group of police officers (mobile patrol).

When we reported the incident to them, they told us that it was outside of
their jurisdiction and that we have to report the incident to the Ayala
Ave. police station incident. I asked if they have two-way radios so that
they can contact the police officers in Makati and apprehend the suspects.
Apparently, they had none. The other passengers were already feeling tired
and helpless. They did not want to return to Makati so soon after what
happened. Therefore, the driver and conductor dropped us at Alabang. I even
had to ask the conductor for 10 pesos so that I could at least pay for the
jeepney fare to Las Pinas.

Knowing that I needed a police report to have all my ID’s replaced, I went
to the Ayala Ave. police station (the one in the car park beside SM) last
June 23 to report the incident. Police Officer Valila refused to make the
report. Since the passengers jumped off at Magallanes, it was out of their
jurisdiction. He told me to report the incident to Precinct 3 (the one
along Evangelista St.) instead.
(more…)

Have you ever cried because of your country? I have numerous times. I cry from frustration and pity because I know that the Philippines can be much much better than its current state. I’m frustrated with the rampant poverty, the bureaucratic red tapes, the filthy streets, the corruption in almost every system, etc. etc. etc. Years ago the Philippines wasn’t like this. There was a time when we were ahead of our Asian neighbors. There was a time when we weren’t in debt, when the Philippine Peso was equal to the US Dollar, when our rivers were blue and pollution-free. I cry because so many are leaving the country so that they would have enough money to feed their family. I think the real reason why I cry is because of the feeling of helplessness.

I’m sure a lot of Filipinos have cried for the same reason. We have no clue how to bring back the country to its former glory. The ‘cancer’ is eating us away and there seems no cure for it. The illness is in too deep now. Daily news or robberies, killings, and corruption has become normal and we hardly react anymore. We have become desensitized somehow but the wound is still there. Every once in a while, we feel the pain. Every once in a while, we begin to hope. We pin our hopes on a promising politico, hoping that he won’t be corrupt and that he would be able to change the government. We join organizations and volunteer work to do things like lessen pollution, promote women’s rights, or whatever. But after awhile, when nothing has really changed, we revert to our jaded normal self.

Tears are just that. Tears. Salty liquid oozing out from tear ducts sometimes triggered by emotion. They’re useless because they can’t change the way things really are. My tears can’t do anything to improve the Philippines.

I’ll go to this event with Yasu. I want to cosplay as NANA but I would look ridiculous.  Details about the event can be found here.

I just finished watching NANA movie and I’m so disappointed with it. After falling in love with the anime and the manga versions, I was expecting the movie to be really something. I have to applaud the production for making the actors look like their manga counterpart but I would rather they used actors who looked so different but can act well. Mika Nakamisha was deadpan all the time. I wish she had more expressions on her face. I wish they chose Anna Tsuchiya to play NANA instead. Ryuhei Matsuda…they could have used a better looking actor to play Ren. Aoi Miyazaki could have been perkier and funnier since Hachi is so hyper in the manga. The actors who played Yasu, Shouji, Sachiko, Takumi, Shin, and Junko were decent. Probably the actor I liked best is Hiroki Narimiya (he was also in the dorama Orange Days which I reviewed earlier). He’s the liveliest among the other actors and stayed true to Nobu’s character. *sigh* I really wish the live action was better. While watching it, I kept thinking that I wish the film was over. I haven’t seen NANA 2 yet but now I’m not looking forward to it anymore. Still, I’ll watch it. I just hope that the actors are more spirited this time.

Probably stress contributed to this. I have cough and colds right now. I just slept the whole day cos my body feels so heavy. Wasn’t able to play with Yasu much but he’s just here lying on my bed. That’s probably not a good idea cos I might break him accidentally but oh well. I’m sick and I need ‘company’.