bury me in this dress

I still feel depressed but I know it’s just because I’m bitter and sour graping about Bishie. I’m lucky when it comes to money, family, even friends sometimes. When it comes to romance, I’m a loser. I should feel blessed because I have it easy compared to most people but I do want some romance once in a while. I only had one boyfriend and that was almost 7 years ago. After that relationship, my love life went downhill. I could hardly even remember what it feels like to be in a relationship. I’m the one who dumped the guy so maybe what’s been happening to me is bad karma. The guy said I ruined his life. I doubt that I did because he had a lot of girlfriends after me. Feh…sometimes I think that I was a big slut in my past life and it’s my fate to be loveless this lifetime

I think seeing Bishie isn’t doing me good. It brought back unpleasant memories of not only him but other similar experiences. I took half a Xanax. I hope it works. I’ll sleep now. I hope when I wake up the anxiety will be gone. Or I will have horrid dreams and wake up all panicky. Ugh

I recommend that my fellow Filipino bloggers (and readers) read this blog post by Gary about Filipino migration. It alarmed me at first to be called the modern version of Jews and Chinese but his outsider perspective is refreshing. Hopeful even, if I may say. I hope he doesn’t mind me quoting a portion of the entry.

Filipinos have become the modern day versions of Jews and Chinese. In every European and Middle Eastern country you used find a population of Jews who filled an economic niche. Likewise, Chinese and Chinatowns can be found all over Asia which they often owned many businesses and were brought in originally as laborers. The same was also true of Indians during the British Empire who went to work in Guyana, Fiji, or Africa. Filipinos are filling that role today. Not only can you find Filipinos in Hong Kong, but also in Saudi Arabia, and throughout Asia. If I were a betting man, based on what I saw in the Philippines, I would bet that you see Filipinos follow the same course in these countries over the next several decades. They come in as laborers and end up owning businesses and having a higher standard of living than the local population. And, like the Jews and Chinese before them, they will probably end up getting the short end of the stick by locals if they become too successful.

I hope this does happen, even if we get “the short end of the stick”. There are so many Filipinos suffering outside the country but if it would mean that a better future awaits due to their  toil, I’m sure having a good business, even if would mean discrimination which they are getting now anyway, is a beneficial return.