The gloom of Holy Week is getting to me. That and my fucked up hormones. It’s 6 am and didn’t even get a few minutes of sleep because my mind is playing with me once again. I’ve been mulling about my life and how much of a loser I am. I have nothing to show and be proud of. All of my ambitions never saw daylight because I squashed them early. I don’t know why I do it. I wish I knew so I can work on it.

Even my depression sucks. Maybe I would have more achievements if I were bipolar. But I’m stuck with the staring-into-space-doing-nothing kind of depression. Why didn’t I get the one that Sylvia Plath had? She was able to write moving literary pieces BECAUSE of her depression. I wouldn’t want to end up sticking my head in an oven but even if I did, I won’t have any legacy. Nothing to show except this crap of a blog. No awards, citations, or any kind of achievement. My work with ISAA is almost non-existent. If Allen accepted  my resignation before, my successor would probably doing a superb job. Well, ISAA is stuck with me and I pity the organization. They could have gotten someone better.

I hope this funk was just caused by Holy Week. I hate hate hate Holy Week. I’m not a Catholic but I’m forced to observe it because this country is predominantly Catholic. I’m not bashing Catholicism here. I just hate being forced into this depressing tradition.

I grew up listening to ABBA. It’s mostly my mother’s fault but their music is really nice and catchy. I’m not particularly upset when I read the news that the drummer of ABBA, Ola Brunkert, was found dead. I’m sure there will be devastated ABBA fans though. I think the news with sadden my mom.

I don’t know why I bothered putting up one but it’s up and running, my photoblog. Is kinda nice but not much photos there right now. I’m also worried about my webspace. Boo! Go visit Camera Obscura! I used Pixelpost cos of the abundance of addons and themes. FYI, I use a Nikon D80 for my photography. I don’t have any other lens at the moment except the one which came with the kit.

Click this for more photos

I really don’t want to sell them because they are super adorable and makulit but mom said we can’t afford to keep all of them :~(

There are 4 kittens. 3 Garfield-colored males, and 1 Tortoise Shell female. All are from the littler of Vyolette our Persian cat. The kitties are mixed breed.

So if there’s a kitty lover here who wants to buy a kitty for cheap, just PM me. We need to keep them for another month because they still need nurturing from their mom and they will get a vaccine.

I’ve been obsessing over photographs of ruins in Russia ever since my friend Kris showed me a link to this lj group. I don’t know how I to describe this obsession but I just find those photos so fascinating! I even keep on telling my friends who are into photography that we should go to Ukraine and just take photos of ruined structures. I’m nuts of course. I don’t think they’re nice to foreigners there. Well that’s what I gathered after watching Everything Is Illuminated (a really good film. I highly recommend it!). Anyway, here’s a nice example of what I’m talking about.

Photo by acha baba

I found more groups of abandoned lovers. Check out the following if you like this stuff:

• Abandoned
• Rural Decay
• Haunted Houses, Creepy Buildings and Other Places
• Urban Desolation
• Post Communism
• IRO? CU?TAIN

Since I couldn’t go to Russia, I decided to make a flickr abandoned group closer to home. Join my Abandoned Philippines group if you have something to contribute. I haven’t had much opportunities to take photographs of Manila’s ruins but I will soon.

P.S.

I don’t know how to put captions under photos here in Wordpress. Teach me please!

I found out about In Touch through Touched By An Angel’s blog. In Touch is a non-profit counseling service which was initially established for expats but now also caters to Filipinos, especially those who need counseling. They’re run by volunteers and if I’m not mistaken, focus their activities on Crisis Line. The group may be contacted through the following:

Office Address: 2/F, 48 McKinley Road, North Forbes Park, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Office Phones: +63 2 8931893 /8106233
Fax: +63 2 8931892
Website: www.in-touch.org
E-mail: intouch@i-manila.com.ph
Crisis Line: +63 2 8937603 /+63 2 8937606
Mobile Text messaging: type hello crisisline and send to 2333 (Globe) or 211 (Smart)

I wish I had known these numbers several years ago (you know what I’m talking about, my loyal blog readers). For those who are suicidal or needs emotional support, take note that the Crisis Line is open up to 9PM only. I hope they’re be available 24/7 soon.

UPDATE

I emailed Crisis Line last night expressing my support for their service and they informed me that they operate 24/7 now. Here is their reply:

Thank you for emailing In Touch.

For your information, our crisis line counseling is available 24/7. Please call 893 1893 for more information.

Rica S. Gonzales
Counseling Coordinator

I got this from Helga’s blog.

Thousands of pet cats in Beijing are being abandoned by their owners and sent to die in secretive government pounds as China mounts an aggressive drive to clean up the capital in preparation for the Olympic Games.

Hundreds of cats a day are being rounded and crammed into cages so small they cannot even turn around.

Then they are trucked to what animal welfare groups describe as death camps on the edges of the city.

The cull comes in the wake of a government campaign warning of the diseases cats carry and ordering residents to help clear the streets of them.

Read more about this cruelty here. I will be boycotting the Olympics. Well, I was never interested in it anyway but now I have more reason why I won’t watch it on tv.

Did I somehow entertain you? Shed some light to thoughts bugging you? Made you laugh or made you cry? My tip jar is waiting for some $$$. Click on the tip jar on my sidebar and tip me. It will help my finances a lot.

I only went online tonight and was surprised to find that most of Brian Gorrell’s blog entries are gone. What happened? Did he get back his money? I hope that’s the reason for the blog’s closure. The internet will be quiet again.

UPDATE

There are rumors that Gucci Gang and friends are having a “Goodbye Brian” party at the Embassy as I write this. I don’t know this first hand. Somebody also commented that the thread about Brian’s blog in Pinoyexchange is now gone. I’ll leave it up to you, readers, to form your own theories about these events.