bury me in this dress

I went back to my OB Gyne this afternoon. Mom went with me this time. I told the doctor that I’m still bleeding but she gave me the choice of having a D and C (dilation and curettage) or not. I told her I want it done so my period would stop and I wouldn’t have stomach cramps anymore. She informed us that the ultrasound showed a thing uneven lining in my uterus. She doesn’t know what it is but she’ll know when she performs the D and C on me. It might be totally nothing but she wants to totally rule out cancer. I thought I will be confined then and there but she asked me when I wanted to have the operation. I honestly wanted to get this over with today but she suggested Monday instead and I just said yes. I would have to be admitted very early though. And not ingest anything after 2 am that day. According to her the procedure won’t take long and I would be asleep the whole time. At least I don’t have to worry about pain.

I’d be lying if I say that I’m not worried. I am. I’m still scared that it will be painful even if she reassured me that it won’t be. I’m also a bit worried about the ultrasound findings but I was praying for that. I’m insane. I don’t want to talk about it.

This menstrual cycle is driving me insane. I’ve been emotional because of the fucked up hormones. I was even in a terrible crying spell yesterday. But that’s how my life is. PCOS isn’t curable. I already have it bad with clinical depression but the PCOS makes things worse. I actually don’t mind the possible infertility. I can try to ignore the abdominal cramps, heavy and prolonged bleeding, the constipation, insomnia, and other symptoms. But what I hate most about this condition is how it affects my mental state. I really felt myself sinking into depression this cycle. It felt like my anti-depressants were nullified. Hell, to be totally honest, I started cutting myself again. I am really hoping that the D and C will finally make me feel normal again. Come Tuesday, I’ll know if it worked.

That’s the project I was talking about several posts ago. Mukhangpera.com is my new blog, my money-making blog if things go according to plan. See, the credit card debts I keep on mentioning is real ya know. I need to make them disappear. So please support my new blog. Link it to yours if possible and I will love you long time.

Hmm. I just realized I never wrote a review on Nodame Cantabile. Strange. I watched it a long time ago and I found it just okay. I got annoyed with Nodame herself several times. She’s loud, dirty, and a pest. Others seem to like this dorama a lot though so my very short review is useless. Just watch it yourself.

Here’s the OST if you want it.

Argh! I woke up this ungodly hour due to a Coffee Prince-induced dream. I finished watching that Kdrama yesterday and I found it quite nice. It’s officially my first Kdrama, meaning the only Kdrama I was able to finish watching. I blame Mads and Mark for this because they were the ones who kept on telling me to watch it.

I found The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince charming. The actors were believable especially that Eun Hye as a guy. I really like it when she bawls. That’s what real crying is like. Han Kyul was also good but I have no idea why people think he’s hot. I think there’s something wrong with his eyebrows. If I were Eun Hye, I would have followed him around with a pair of tweezers. The shop assistants I found cute. That Japanese guy was sizzling and so was the dumb guy. I liked the soundtrack a lot too. I was pleasantly surprised when a track by Ephemera was played. Sweet! I didn’t know there was a thriving indie scene in Korea. I guess the scene is popular since indie songs were used in a popular drama.

How does this compare with doramas? Well, I still prefer doramas because of the varied topics. I have yet to hear about a kdrama that isn’t about romance. Also, there were times when I got bored watching Coffee Prince because it was too long. This one had 17 episodes of what felt like 1 hour long each. Still, it was good as my first kdrama. I’m thinking of watching Princess Hours later.

Listen to Ephemera’s “Balloons and Champagne” which was played during a tender moment between Eun Hye and Han Kyul.

I want to go to the gig since some of my friends will be playing. If my period is gone by the 10th, I’ll definitely watch this.

I haven’t been well for weeks now. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and my periods have gone from bad to worse. My OB Gyne gave me medication to stop my period but it’s not working. She said that if it’s still there on Friday I would have to undergo d and c (dilation and curettage). I don’t mind so much. I kinda miss being hospitalized.

My friend Emman emailed me about a new film he’s making. Audition will be held later.

CALL FOR AUDITIONS for the movie

“1434456″

From the makers of Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Olivers, Sarongbanggi and Endo comes a new exploration of the ordinary.

ufo Pictures’ lates project 1434456 is the colorful story of Mr. Singh who is fondly called “Jimmy Paybsiks” . A 49-year-old Punjabi widower, he faces the challenge of finding a more permanent sense of home and country for his children who find themselves growing up more and more assimilated in the Filipino way of life.

1434456 recasts contemporary Manila as the unexplored borderlines between the Philippines and India - a landscape marked by both friction and friendship.

The film also offers a refreshingly upbeat take on 5-6; backed by research, it truthfully reflects the positive outlook shared by many Filipinos especially the small business entrepreneurs who directly benefit from the financing scheme.

1434456 examines the colorful stories and inevitable struggles of a migrant sector rarely given a second look or even a thoughtful pause in our society.

WE NEED ACTORS OF INDIAN DESCENT

We are looking for Indina/Fil-Indians (with or without acting experience) for the following roles:

1) Father (late 30’s -50 yrs old)

Amiable, speaks fluent Punjabi and broken Tagalog, knows how to ride a motrcycle.

2) Son (age 16-22 yrs old)

Rebellious but responsible, knows how to ride a motorcylcle.

3) Daughter/Sister (age 8-12 years old)

Funny and smart, speaks her mind. Good dancer, speaks Tagalog fluently.

4) Son’s Girlfriend (age 16-22 years old)

Free thinker and strong willed, willing to learn Indian dance.

WHEN: 03 April 2008 (Thursday)

VENUE: Hindu Temple Inc., Mahatma Ghandi St. (cor Apacible St.), Paco, Manila

TEL. NO. : 5218103

TIME: 2pm - 5pm

Well, I’m pooped. Spent hours at the OB-Gyne and had an ultrasound because of my persistent female problem. I wanted to sleep when I got home but I couldn’t. I managed to migrate to my new webhost which is awesome so far. Then upgraded to WP 2.5. So far, I’m having few problems with it. So there. My brain is hardly functioning at the mo’. And I still don’t want to sleep. Bleh

Ugh. Too many people visited my blog last month and the traffic ate up all my bandwidth allocation. So, now that I am back, there will be changes here.

I will transfer to a new webhost. I took Shabby’s recommendation and bought some space from totalchoicehosting.com. It’s much more expensive but I don’t want to experience bandwidth problems ever again. Grace recommended other webhosts but I found them too expensive. Sorry, Grace.

Another change is that I will be starting a new blog. It’ll be my money-making blog and hopefully, I will generate enough money to cover the webhost and domain name costs. I’m also hoping that the blog will make me so much money that I will be able to pay off my credit card debts. I will announce the new blog when it’s ready to launch.

Last change. I will upgrade to Wordpress 2.5 and that might screw up my theme and the plugins I use. I hope it won’t but just in case you see this blog looks different, don’t say I didn’t warn you.