I feel frustrated right now. With my weight and my love life which is in limbo. I know I should count my blessings. I have great friends, a stable job, a family, and I’m not broke (tomorrow is payday). Still, there’s a chasm in my heart that remains to be filled. I have crushes at the moment but both are going nowhere. How I wish I have a fairy godmother who will grant me my wishes and send my prince charming my way.
It’s been 10 years since my last relationship. Too long, 10 years. I don’t want to go to singles’ bars because that’s just not my thing. I have male friends and friends they shall remain since I doubt I’m their type of woman. To them, I’ll forever be their buddy. It isn’t so bad but I’m getting scared that I will never meet a guy who will like me back and love me for who and what I am. I’m already 31 and most of my batchmates from high school are married with kids. They’ve (hopefully) found their life partners.
My situation makes me question how I am. What am I doing wrong? Should I change who I am? If I change myself, it will be like living a lie but maybe it’ll be worth it. However, I don’t want to change. I want somebody who can get me. Somebody who will understand my quirks and kinks. But by not changing, I might be waiting for nothing. For no one. By not changing, I might end up alone.