I just got an email from hmv.co.jp that my orders have already been dispatched.

Welcome to your new home Hiro Mizushima :heart:

I found out today that (erm yesterday technically) Bishie finished his OJT with us so that means I won’t be seeing him anymore. Sad sad sad. No more eye candy in the office. I will see him again during our office xmas party on the 18th but that’s it…unless he gets to work for us but we don’t have any openings according to mom. I’ll just post our last photo together (ugh…with mom too) in remembrance. That didn’t sound right. It’s like somebody died.

Since all is lost with Bishie, I am now distracting myself with a real bishounen. I recently downloaded scans of Hiro Mizushima’s “With You” photobook and his photos made me almost drool literally.

Yummy! Anyway, I decided to treat myself and ordered the photobook and his calendar from HMV Japan. I hope that having that would make me feel better about the Bishie thing. I wonder if Ikuta Toma has a photobook as well.

Last Thursday night I treated my staff to a catered party. It was simple. Just food, some booze, and the ever present videoke. I had high expectations because of the things that happened during the surprise party but it wasn’t my day. First, there was the stupid coup d’etat earlier during the day. Next, the awful traffic to and from my appointment with the shrink. Then before the party started, GMA declared a curfew. That didn’t matter though because I didn’t feel like partying much when Bishie brought his girlfriend to the party. That’s right. His girlfriend I’m unusually positive about that fact though. I think that’s the best thing for me since he’s our OJT after all and the fact that we have a 9 year age gap. Don’t get me wrong though. I am still attracted to him but at least now I know that hooking him in is next to impossible.

I was expecting my birthday yesterday to end crappy but it was totally the opposite. My staff threw me a surprise party at the office complete with embarrassing photo montage. I was really surprised and mom was so convincing. I went down to the 15th floor office and just blurted out “Bakit madilim dito?” but it never occurred to me that they were cooking up something the whole day. The thing that made it 100 times better is the fact that Bishie (you remember him?) was there and by the end of the night he dedicated songs to me, got my cellphone and email addy, had our photos taken, held both my hands at some point, and had me singing an awful duet with him (there was videoke). Well, booze was flowing and although I was perfectly sober, I doubt any of those counted since he was tipsy. Still, I was thrilled cos he’s so darn cute. I guess I can declare yesterday as one of my best birthdays. I’ll be celebrating again on Thursday night and I hope it’s just as thrilling

It’s my birthday today. Ugh. The big 3-Oh. I hate that number. I don’t feel that old yet and my friend said I don’t look 30 so that’s good. Still, I don’t feel like celebrating. I want to save money and there’s really nothing to celebrate.

This birthday isn’t too depressing compared to last year’s. I feel loved now especially since I reconnected with old friends. Of course, it’s not like before when we were younger and have the energy to stay out all night and drink too much booze. I don’t even drink liquor anymore.

A friend was inviting me earlier to go to Baguio this weekend. Maybe going there would do me good but I’m too lazy. I don’t want to travel 4 or more hours just to play cards with them. Besides, they’re all boys and I’ll just be reaffirming my role as one of the boys. That has got to stop but that’s always the case with almost all my male friends. Tsk. Not that I’m interested in any of them in THAT way. Yuck! It’s just depressing when I’m never seen as an object of affection or whatever.  So yeah, one of my birthday wishes is to finally have a love life. I’m not raising my hopes up though.

Watch the entire clip. You’ll find out why I have drool all over my laptop. This clip is from the show Vanilla Kibun.

I  don’t want to have Bishie as crush anymore.  He’s bad for my mental health. So let me introduce my new and improved crush.

He is Ikuta Toma. He’s a Japanese actor. He’s 24 years old so that won’t make me a pedo. I liked him when he appeared as Junpei in Hana Yori Dango 2 even though he only had a bit part. He has a better part now in another dorama. I say good for him! Good for me too because it means I’ll see him more.

Yes, I’m back to pathetic fantasy boys but I would rather have it this way.