I am feeling so low right now. You wouldn’t even be able to imagine how shitty I’m feeling. It’s really bad. I couldn’t talk about what happened because it’s personal but it involves a member of my family and some weirds which made me feel worthless. It just hurts so much but I feel guilty at the same time. Not that the guild would change anything. It just exacerbates the feeling and situation. If you’ve been a long time reader of my blog, you’ll know that I have difficulties dealing with things especially when it involves a certain family member. There’s only a few people in my family so make a guess. I won’t mention who it is though. That person’s words have the power to drive me over the edge sometimes. And I just don’t really know how to process it emotionally. I just don’t have the capacity in my psyche. I had no choice but to make an appointment with my shrink and I got lucky this time because he has an available slot for me for Thursday afternoon. I should feel a bit relieved but all sorts of feelings are gnawing me on the inside and I couldn’t describe it even if I tried. Added to this, she thinks I should just let go and give up my shrink, my anti-depressants, and my sleeping pills. She must be insane. If not for those, I’d be dead right now.

I’ve always envied my sister and my cousin for their long, thick eyelashes. Mine is short but even worse than that, my eyelashes point in crazy directions. Even when I use an eyelash curler, and I bought an expensive Shu Uemura curler thinking that it will work for me, and goops of mascara, my lashes cannot be tamed. It’s really frustrating. I’ll try to post a photo of my lashes but I don’t have a macro lens. I think I might need an eyelash hair transplant or something drastic. I don’t know if it’s true or just an old wives’ tale but they say that if you want your kids to have long lashes, you have to trim them at an early age so they will grow back nice and long. Well my mom did that to my sister. Not to me though. Maybe that’s why my lashes are so ugly.

Friday night I met up with Phoebe at Shangri-la so we can dine at Cibo. I miss the food there and I ordered my usual. Telefono with spaghettini and the Crostini with the Spinach dip. Did I spell that correctly? Phoebe ordered her usual as well which is Spaghetti Alfonso (I think). Basta it tasted good. We’re kind of lactose intolerant though and our stomachs were rumbling after the cream-based pastas.

Last night I had another Italian dinner at Amici. It was my first time there and I was surprised that it’s a self-service restaurant. The place was packed but Phoebe and I got a table easily. I forgot what she ordered. I wasn’t able to taste it because she ate it all so fast. That girl has a really big appetite. I got Spaghetti Vongoli something something. Very long name but I didn’t like it much. It also took a loooong time to arrive so I just lapped up the pizza we shared. It was the Al Funghi pizza (my spelling sucks, I know!) and it was really good. I think Amici’s specialty is their pizzas. Jenny caught up with us and we indulged in their toe-curling gelatos and profiteroles. I especially loved the sans rival gelato and ended up buying 1 kilo of it to take home. I think the price is reasonable for P450.

Yummy pizza!

Scrumptious profiteroles

After Amici, we hung out at our usual Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Only Phoebe ordered because Jenny and I were so full but usually I order The Ultimate mocha there. Since I bought that gelato from Amici, I asked the staff if they can store it in their refrigerator and they were so nice enough to accomodate me. We spent hours there just talking about different things. Phoebe showed me her new Sony Ericsson W960i and I’m now more tempted to get one too. We used the free wifi there and their internet was fast. I’m not sure if it’s because of the phone or just the ISP in the cafe. We made plans of going to Fort Ilocandia soon. If I’m going to buy a W960i, I won’t have enough money for the vacation so now I’m having second thoughts about the trip. Is the phone more worth it or Fort Ilocandia which I’ve never been to? We talked about so many things from American Idol contestants (I don’t watch it anymore) to US politics. Fun times. I haven’t gone out for ages because of the damn PCOS so last night was a good catch-up for us three.

The first book of the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer is going to have a film version which will be shown at the end of this year. I’m addicted to the books and there’s a big chance that I might get disappointed with the film version. I mean, in my imagination, the Cullens and Bella Swan look so much different from the actors chosen to portray them. Hmm, actually I’m pretty sure I’ll be disappointed with the film just like I was disappointed with the Harry Potter and Bridget Jones movies. Still, I will watch Twilight on the big screen if it gets released in the Philippines.

Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter) was cast as Edward Cullen. He’s handsome but my imagined Edward Cullen is dreamier. Now that I’ve seen the trailer and some video clips, my imagined Edward is gone and is now replaced by Pattinson. Oh well. I can’t really do anything about it.

Here’s a video about the cast of the movie.

A while back, pinoytwitter picked me as erm…twitterer of the week. They said that they’ll send me a gift but they never communicated with me about it. Hmmmm.

I just got so tired of looking at my old theme so I felt I needed a change. I’m not totally satisfied with this new one. I love it. It looks stunning. But I didn’t make it myself so that won’t do. I want to stick with themes I made because it makes me feel good, as if I’m good at graphics and coding and all that shite which I totally am not. This purrty theme will do in the meantime. I need to start making a new one.

I was looking for the video of Gothic Archies’ “Smile, No One Cares How You Feel” when I stumbled upon this neat video by the said band. There’s no video for the song I mentioned but ANYTHING by Stephin Merritt (aka God) and his gazillion bands is good. This video is for Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” where Mr. Snicket aka Daniel Handler collaborated with Stephin and his Gothic Archies to produce a series of songs based on the books. There’s this funny video of Snicket and Merritt during a book signing. It made me realize how funny Mr. Snicket really is. He’s bigger than life. I’ve only read up to book 2 and got tired of it. The movie was amazing though. Loved the actors, the costumes, the end and beginning credits, etc. Stephin Merritt is one of my idols so combine this awesome lyricist/musician with an author who wants to make children depressed, hahaha that’s fun times!

kekekeke I can’t wait to watch the movie. And Jun Matsumoto has a shirtless scene! *drools* I’ll totally do him if I have a chance

I watched HYD 1 and 2 again and the series made me bawl again. The ending of HYD 2 is so cheesy but that’s alright with me.

My goodness! Hiro Mizushima will appear in another dorama.

This drama is based on Yuu Watase’s shojo manga “Zettai Kareshi” (also known as “Absolute Boyfriend”), starring Mocomichi Hayami and Saki Aibu. In this version, Aibu plays a temp OL in search of a boyfriend, and she ends up in possession of a “robot” (Hayami) who is programmed to be the perfect boyfriend. However, this creates a love triangle with a distinguished young man at Aibu’s company (Hiro Mizushima) who has feelings for her.

Source: Tokyograph

I was looking at the dorama’s official site but got weirded out by the “robot”. Aibu looks creepy in this drama. Regardless, I hope a fansub group will release this. I want more Hiro goodness!

UPDATE

SARS Fansubs is releasing Zettai Kareshi!!! Episode 1 is out now.